tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57571015849659104212024-03-22T01:06:57.495-04:00She's Really Doing This!Content and easily amused.
Looking for ways to share my thoughts in a way that might lead to helping one person see that life is really, really beautiful, if you can live in gratitude. I am a believer in not caring what other people think, and I'm sorting out my mission to share my philosophy with people who care too much about that. Life is better when we stop comparing ourselves to others.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-56203422139466915582016-02-28T07:44:00.001-05:002016-02-28T07:45:14.877-05:00The Key<div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> I spent Thursday and Friday in Charleston, soaking up all the love in the room when my people gather to celebrate an accomplishment of one of us. Most of the time, schedules are tight, travel is difficult, babies are too little, things change, but one thing is true, there is love. Love is being sent, support is being felt, fun is being had. Regan was "marvelous" just like Piper & Evy knew she would be. Joe had a great visit and we made 24 hours worth of memories to last a lifetime. (We have become genius at that, over the years.) </span></div><div>David, Rosey, Zachary & Pearce were able to share on Friday, if just for a short time. </div><div>I would watch my children shine forever. Lucky for me I'll be watching Lucas & Zachary on Friday while Rosey toils on crew. Regan will be on break so she'll share too. We'll squeeze in at least one family dinner. </div><div>I'm grateful for the people I work with that all appreciate how much family matters. </div><div>I know that my life is an embarrassment of riches.</div><div><br></div><div>The Secret Garden was visually themed around a key. The show was beautiful, but when the antique keys flew in and Mary Lennox chose the key to Lily's Garden, it is a metaphor for all of the choices we make. If we are exceedingly fortunate, as I have been, we choose the key that opens the door to the magical world of gratitude.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-91318198543917374462016-02-23T06:04:00.001-05:002016-02-23T06:04:25.385-05:00Random...I hate that word2016<div>So far:</div><div>Piper Mae & Evelyn Alice Pelicano joined the party. (January 15)</div><div>I was offered and accepted a new position with the City of Fountain Inn. I am the full-time manager of special events. Fun change of responsibilities. I'm excited about a new opportunity.</div><div>David has changed jobs within his company. He will be taking on new challenges.</div><div>Zachary and Lucas are working closely on Our Town. Looking forward to seeing my boys together on stage in FIRE Theatre Co.'s first true drama. </div><div>Regan is featured in The Secret Garden at the College of Charleston. I will be there opening night, this Thursday. Meeting my chosen brother for a 24 hour visit before David & Rosey join me Friday.</div><div>Progress reports are great for Lucas (Senior) & Rosey (6th Grade).</div><div><br></div><div>That's the "bullet". It's only February 23rd!</div><div>Details to follow. </div><div>Happy Tuesday!</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0Fountain Inn Fountain Inn34.702758 -82.204244tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-38260114965192554322015-08-05T19:30:00.000-04:002015-08-05T20:12:57.388-04:00PurgeI have found that lately, I want to be lighter. I saw a story about a "capsule wardrobe" and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Those are the times I try to pay attention. When something doesn't leave my sieve of a mind, I know it must be important to give some serious thought.<br><br>Lighter, in my case means, weighed down fewer by things and ideas that no longer serve my best self.<br>I have purged many people in my life that were better off parted from me, either for themselves, or for me, but gone, they are, and I haven't any regrets. That is what leads me to the idea that I can certainly be as fine with fewer things, as I am with fewer people.<br><br>I know that when there is a big change looming, I get emotional, and my emotional go to is "I don't need anyone, or anything! I can do everything alone. WATCH ME!" It is my way. Always has been.<br>There are very big changes looming that happen to be occurring during my 50th birthday year, and my version of a mid-life crisis is probably going to be a smaller wardrobe, and maybe a few less dishes. <br><br>I have some really big ideas, and I think I'm not leaving room for them, thus, I'm stuck. <br>I have turned on to this "planning community" and it has lead me to believe that there is an under served segment of the population that needs help being creative in every day life. I think that the inability to be creative is perceived, and that, if given the tools, and the freedom, we can all create something, even something as simple as a "plan". <br>More on this to come. <br><br>My goal is to purge 10 pieces at least three times a week for the month of August. <br>Thirty things a week. Clothes, Shoes, Scarves, Cups, Craft Supplies, things that are taking up space, emotionally and physically. I'm at 20 for this week, so far. <br><br>This is a bit of a random post, but I feel the desire to share...<br>hope no one minds! Something new is on the horizon, and I'm figuring it out, one old sweater at a time.<br><br>xo<br>C<br><br>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-67639807925121835582015-07-25T10:37:00.001-04:002015-07-25T10:37:26.444-04:00Beautiful things.This week I plan to occupy my mind with beautiful things. <div>The ocean. The family. The historic city of Charleston and it's charms.</div><div>Good food. </div><div>Relaxation. Conversations and laughter.</div><div>Technology plays a part. Browsing Pinterest or searching Instagram for people with interests similar to mine. Pretty things.</div><div>Interesting things.</div><div>My books include Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. I've carried and notated in this copy on every beach trip since 1999. I take it to the sand and think about how things change and stay the same while I read the prose that speak to me as my best self. I would aspire to simplify as the author describes.</div><div>Big Sur, by Jack Kerouac. Just because it's Kerouac and Lucas gave the book to me.</div><div>Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert because she writes as if she is looking in my eyes over coffee talking about the deepest connections between real people. I don't get much of that in real life. </div><div>I also grabbed Diane Keaton's Autobiography and threw it in my bag. I love autobiographies. I try to read one every summer. </div><div>I'm planning to use up each of my 7, 24 hour chunks of time to be immersed in things that inspire me.</div><div><br></div><div>We arrive at our Beach House by 4:00 today and I'll get my toes in the sand and my eyes on the horizon. I love summer vacation.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-5156218705697439292015-07-24T12:00:00.000-04:002015-07-24T12:00:14.787-04:00Embrace what is true and let the rest fall away! What a year, since I've posted.<br />What a fantastic, year!<br /><br />David and I discussed at the beginning of 2015 how it was a big year for our family. I would turn 50.<br />Regan would graduate High School. Rosey would finish Elementary School. Lucas would be launching his Senior year of High School the day his big sister graduated.<br />We knew there would be family visits for the graduation.<br />We knew we would travel to NYC to celebrate mine and Joe's birthday, together, in the homage to our now, 47 years of friendship.<br />We knew that Regan, Zachary and I would all be participating in Into The Woods to end the season at the Theatre, and that it would be Regan's final show with the Company. Mackensie and Lucas were on Crew, and David and Rosey made it to the show twice, so the Pelicanos were, together for the joy and the tears of this milestone.<br /><br />Here is what we didn't know. We didn't know that on Father's Day, after the curtain closed on the final show of Regan's final season at FIRE Theatre Co., Zachary and Mackensie would gift David with the news that he is going to be a Grandfather. By association, it was a gift for the old Grandmother too! Even on that very day filled with emotion, we couldn't have known that we would find out on the following Tuesday, that we were going to be Grandparents X TWO! We are happy that our family is growing and that our dream of growing old together is actually coming true.<br />(Maybe the growing old part is happening a little faster than we had hoped!)<br /><br />I can't remember another time in my life when I have so viscerally felt the transition in my bones.<br /><br />I feel like it is time to change something, in a tangible way to embrace this new stage in our lives.<br />It can't be hasty, but it must be true. <br />I have only been 50 for three and a half months, and I feel like I've really begun ACT II.<br /><br />We are leaving for a Beach Vacation and it will be the last time we are all together, for sure, for a Summer Trip. Things change. The kids could have jobs next Summer that prevent them from joining us for the whole week. Zachary and Mackensie will be relatively new parents of seven month old twins. We'll be ready to see Lucas off on his College adventure, as Regan will be on the way to her Sophomore Year in the summer of 2016. <br />Things change. <br />I've changed.<br />I've changed since the first time I sat in front of this computer and thought I'd "blog,"... "this" isnt' the same as it was in 2009, but yes, "I'm really doing it, whatever it is that challenges me, or makes me content in my world. I'm learning every day about what it is like to live in the moment, after having shed many of the ideas and, frankly, people that held me back. So far, 50 has been fantastic.<br />I expect it to only get better!<br /><br /><br />As Little Red exclaimed in Into The Woods, "I'm excited"!<br /><br /><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0Fountain Inn, SC, USA34.6890095 -82.19566789999998934.636784999999996 -82.276348899999988 34.741234 -82.114986899999991tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-64809681944167663702014-08-30T08:10:00.004-04:002014-08-30T08:10:58.462-04:00Saturday mornings are made for this...There are fewer things better than a Saturday morning when the coming Monday is a holiday.<br /><br />I sit here, at my little computer desk, typing away, knowing that I get an extra one of "these" this week.<br />Weekends are different during the school year than they are in summer. The beginning of the Theatre Season coincides with Back to School, so the word "weekend" takes on a whole new meaning, anyway.<br />It's these Saturday mornings, when the house is quiet and I sip my coffee alone at my desk that I take a moment to be grateful for the weekend before me.<br /><br />Last night was the first High School Football game of the Season. Regan went there, in her car, no need for a ride from me anymore. Milestones...<br />Lucas is forming a band with some of his friends from school, so he spends Fridays at all night Jam sessions, lately.<br />We have finally found a New York Style Pizza "joint" in a nearby town, so we hit it last night for pizza and beers to end our first full week of school.<br /><br />Today is the North Carolina Apple Festival. It is part of what we do to welcome the Fall of the year and we'll attend. It makes me want to wear boots and a sweater, but it is still 90 degrees in the shade in our region, so I'll use the Festival to whet my appetite for a visit to New York in October, where my boots and sweaters won't be so out of place. I'll stick with shorts and a t-shirt today. <br />Lucas has plans, so it won't be the five of us, just David, me and the girls. <br />Things are changing. <br />I was hoping for one more Apple Festival where we were "all together", but then I remember, Zachary has been gone for 9 years, so we haven't really all been together at the Apple Festival in a very long time. "All together" means whomever we can gather, for the moment. <br />We are "all together" most Sunday evenings for dinner, and that "all together" includes Mackensie, without whom, we can not be "complete". <br /><br />So I guess, sitting here celebrating Labor Day Weekend, alone at my desk is appropriate.<br />As my family changes and goes on to lead lives that won't necessarily include me in all of their plans, I'll be cooking up reasons for us to be "all together".<br />The trick is to make them want to pick apples in 95 degree heat, or eat funnel cake while sitting on the sidewalk near a grassy patch that is all filled with other funnel cake eaters. Most of my schemes will be less elaborate than all that, and be limited to the Sunday morning text to Zachary, ("you coming for dinner tonight?") and hoping for the ("yes, of course,")reply.<br /><br />Next Labor Day weekend, I'll be down another one. Regan will be at College. So, this Saturday morning, in the quiet hours, *Rosey just walked in and turned on Sponge Bob* before anyone else awakened was made for this, thinking about the times when we are "all together" and appreciating every moment in between.<br /><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-27198414049160289032014-08-28T19:45:00.001-04:002014-08-28T19:45:40.901-04:00A bouquet of freshly sharpened pencilsWelcome back. <br />I must say that it was a fantastic summer with many great adventures, and memories were made.<br />Things slow down at the Theatre for the staff that isn't involved in all of the creative things, so the days were not harried, just the right kind of busy, for work.<br /><br />We cruised to the Bahamas and spent a week beachfront at the Isle of Palms. Vacations are wonderful.<br /><br />I dealt with grief over the death of my cousin. That still pains me. I said my final goodbye to the person that gave birth to me, and that kind of finality usually only comes with death, but not in our case. It was a difficult final chapter of a very long, complicated story. <br />I even para-sailed in some weak attempt to set myself free of the things that were eating away at me, to no avail. You can't get over grief, for the loss of the living or the dead, without walking through it and feeling it.<br />I did feel a little more brave after the flight, and I think it has helped me continue in the journey toward making some kind of peace with my sadness. Some things are just plain sad.<br />I didn't spend a lot of time on social media, and I didn't speak to very many people on the phone, outside of my immediate circle.<br />I decided to begin my journey anew, with the intention of becoming lighter as I move forward toward other changes that are imminent.<br /><br />A New Beginning...<br />This is the time of year I love most. It is my New Year. I have decided to take advantage of the promise of a new season. <br />The beginning of the school year is filled with all the promise of a fresh start for my kids. In the movie "You've Got Mail", Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly write emails to each other anonymously and one of those emails refers to Autumn in New York and Joe's urge to gift Kathleen a "bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils" if only they knew each other. I love the image that phrase invokes. I can smell the pencils, and I can feel the air of a New York Fall each time I watch the movie. <br />Regan is a Senior, Lucas is a Junior and Rosey is in fifth grade.<br />
We are on the cusp of some major changes for our family as Regan takes flight.<br />It's time to look at colleges, travel to auditions, and soak up every moment we have left before things change for good. <br />That's what I'll be writing about for now. REAL LIFE.<br />Working through things "out loud" might help me make sense of the every day chaos and bliss that rule my world.<br />There is a lot going on here and it is all perfectly ordinarily extraordinary.<br />I've actually had requests for Blog Posts, so I'm going to attempt to oblige.<br />I was inspired today by a writer friend of mine that writes beautifully. She has a son the same age as Rosey. I love her blog, because she is honest and writes from her heart.<br />We have a lot in common, yet our lives couldn't be any less alike. <br /><br />Aren't we supposed to find people that we can relate to, who inspire us to be better? Shouldn't we all have the pleasure of knowing that someone hundreds of miles away who happens to come from the same home town sees things through a similar lens as we do. Doesn't that make us feel less alone? Don't we love to have things in common with others. Don't we need a tribe? Some friendships don't last. Some families don't really know how to be families. But we can find ways to connect with people on a level that gives us hope that we're not alone, even when we feel most like we are.<br />I have dreamed a dream of starting a new life, a new chapter, a second act. I was prompted to remember by another writer friend that while I'm thinking of a new life, I'm living this life and I'm missing out on somethings by not living in this moment.<br />I'll strive to live in the moment. I'll strive to share the story of these moments with the people who stop by this blog, and I'll hope that someone will read these words and be inspired to start over, to share something they've been longing to share, or just to take a moment and know that there is someone who struggles every day with the ideas that swirl around and that someone is trying to make those ideas take shape, if only so someone out there feels less alone on their journey.<br /><br />...thank you for stopping by.<br /><br /><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-26541396598592378402014-06-06T09:43:00.002-04:002014-06-06T09:43:57.831-04:00Vacation<br />Looking forward to the beach.<br />Looking forward to the days with no schedules.<br />Looking forward to turning off the phone.<br />Sun. Reading. Sand. Food. Games. Drinks. Summer Music. Ocean Views. Charleston.<br />All of those things with the faces that I love most, around me, all day and night.<br /><br />Summer begins today.<br /><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-82717317318401799622014-06-01T09:22:00.000-04:002014-06-01T09:22:16.562-04:00The moment you realize what "love is" ...I was doing quite well with my Facebook Fast, until Friday.<br />I wanted to post on Thursday when I saw the Hillcrest High School Chorus Spring Concert, because I was so impressed by the singers and the level of devotion they showed for the show, and each other.<br />Their teacher, Bruce McIntyre was a true mentor this year, and that was obvious by the affection between he and his students. <br />I stopped myself from logging in to Facebook, and worked through the temptation.<br /><br />Then Friday came. That same Chorus was asked to sing with the 1980's Super Rock Band Foreigner at their Sounds of Summer Tour with Styx & Don Felder.<br />Lucas had plans, so David stayed home with Rosey, and I had a very good seat for the Concert.<br />The Chorus had to report at 4:30 and sell CD's to benefit the Children's Hospital and the Grammy Foundation. There they were in their Red Chorus T-Shirts that signify their "part". There was my "Soprano" in her element with a group of friends that she adores.<br />Twenty five chosen singers along with their Fearless Leader waiting for their moment to shine when they would take the stage for the final song of the night.<br /><br />I was alone at the concert, save for a couple of friends that I ran into that kept me company between sets, and Regan and her friends stopped in at my section when they were selling their CD's too.<br />Mostly, Friday was a chance for me to observe more of what I saw on Thursday, at the Concert at Hillcrest.<br />This is a special moment in time for a special group of kids. <br /><br />Theatre is a funny game. People are thrust together in an intense environment, for a short time.<br />They create something together, and then they go their separate ways. It's inevitable. Community Theatre breeds drama by it's nature, and yet as a "player" you are isolated in that environment for the length of time that you're "playing". Regan has been "playing" since she was 6 years old, either backstage, or finally, onstage about 4 years ago. The Theatre was the source of all of her closest "friendships", but it was also the source of many questions about loyalty and self confidence. <br />Recently, Regan has branched out. Chorus was a big step for her, after an awful experience during her Freshman year. She has recently auditioned for a Theatre in another town, where no one with the name, Pelicano, is involved, and she got the part. A big part. She has expanded her world to include many kids that appreciate the qualities that shine through, and that don't feel competitive with her for reasons that, though imagined, grow like a virus in a laboratory, in the micro environment of Community Theatre.<br />I don't know how the other Theatre experience will turn out. I know she'll do well on stage, and I know that she's having a ball, but I'm not certain that "friends" will be the result of the endeavor.<br /><br />I feel very differently about the Chorus experience. I believe that she has found some kids that appreciate all of the things that are "Regan". As a matter of fact, it was a Chorus friend that suggested she audition at the Theatre in another town. He wanted her to try because he knew their wasn't anyone who had auditioned that had a voice like hers. That doesn't mean she has the best voice, it means that it's unique.<br />She is actually blown away by the vocals of the ladies with which she is sharing the role. She's not in a competition, she's in a show.<br /><br />The Chorus kids lit up when she arrived at the Concert on Thursday. They were truly happy to see her. A scheduling conflict had caused her to be excused from the performance, and she was ultimately able to split her time and make it to the show for the last few songs. She was there in time to hear the solo of the young man that took her to Prom this year, and that was one of the reasons she insisted I attend, even when she wasn't sure she'd make it. This guy was unbelievable. Made me want to leap to my feet, before he was through. A voice like I haven't heard on a kid his age before, simply beautiful.<br />His song was a Senior Solo, and there were more of those kids, with an opportunity to share their talents with their families and friends before they leave for their life adventures. There were group numbers that had been rehearsed and worked out for weeks, and I've heard about them every afternoon when Regan jumps in the car. I "knew" the kids without having met many of them so their personalities shone through in song.<br />Watching this little group of kids sing, and laugh, and take their bows, and hug their teacher, and each other, and then go to dinner and hug each other when they arrived at the restaurant that was right across the street from the school, so they were apart for 7 minutes, and then hug again after they were filled up with burgers and fries, in the parking lot, as they went their separate ways for 16 hours until they were all to meet again, reminded me that love and friendship can't be sustained in environments that breed insecurity and competition. Sometimes the environments of insecurity and competition are imaginary, they're not exclusive to community theatre. They rear their ugly heads all the time, in our lives as teenagers, and adults, in work and other areas. <br /><br />Friendships need that quality of "There you are! I've missed you!" It doesn't matter how long we've been apart, I've thought of you and I have wished you were near me.<br /><br />If it's every morning at your locker, or every time you arrive at your rehearsal for a show, if you're really friends, that feeling comes through. "There you are!" "I've missed you!" It's simple, and it's impossible. It requires seeing another person through eyes of appreciation for all that they are without comparing them to anything that we are...imagine that. <br />When we look at others for all that they are, without comparison, competition and insecurity can not survive.<br /><br />This leads me to a moment in time... the class of 2014 and their friends from the underclass at Hillcrest High School, all culminated on stage Friday night when they rushed out out to sing "I Want To Know What Love Is" with Foreigner in front of thousands of people. Mr. McIntyre joined them and they swayed with their hands in the air and sang at the top of their lungs. They looked at each other ("There you are!" became "Here we are!"), while they sang and shared a moment that will last forever. The lights were as bright as their futures. They were sweaty and no one's hair or make-up looked at all as they had intended it to look as they were getting ready, 6 hours earlier, before the RAIN...<br />
Regan told me that she learned something about herself Friday night. I won't share what she learned, but the idea that she took that moment and applied it to what she now knows for sure, made me very proud of her accomplishments this year, over and above the things she achieved as a singer. Regan. She lights up a lot of lives, especially mine.<br /><br />...that's why I broke my Facebook Fast.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-58237748266707958402014-05-26T08:37:00.000-04:002014-05-26T08:37:38.056-04:00TributeI've always loved handsome men.<br />
I mention that because I lost one of "my" handsome men on Friday.<br />
Even as a very little girl, I was very attracted to physical beauty. My cousin Peter P. Montera Jr. was a beautiful specimen. He was about 11 years older than me, so I started to understand that he was part of the genetic cream of our family crop when I was about 5 or 6 years old.<br /><br />
My cousins teased me a lot. They were a team. There were five Montera kids and one of me at the time.<br />
From the time I was a baby, they called me "Pookie" baby. There are different explanations for this. I am going to skip those explanations and say that it was my "what do you call it, my sobriquet..." (Grey Gardens reference, sorry). I never minded because I was part of a very big, extended family and when we were all together, I had people that belonged to me, besides my parents. I liked that feeling.<br />
<br />
Pete was the second of the Montera kids, and his sisters Nell and Toni were two and one year older than I, respectively. We were great friends as well as cousins.<br />
Annemarie, Pete and David were the big kids.<br />
When Pete was a Senior in High School, he was cast as The Tin Man in The Wizard Of Oz at John Jay High School. Nell and Toni were Munchkins, so their parents, Chickie (sobriquet) and Peter (sr.) took me to the show. It was my first Theatre experience. <br />
All of this to say...I was in love in a very real way with my cousin Pete. He lit up that stage, and I was taken by the whole experience. If you know me, you know that the Theatre is a huge part of my life to this day and it is rooted in that performance.<br />
<br />
With the expanse of years between us, we were not "close" by any means. Pete left for the Navy and married a girl. They had a son and I was still in second grade! We saw very little of him over the years. Families are like that. Ours is, at least. Sometimes I would get a post card from abroad, and they would be newsy and sweet. He always called me "cutie" or some other such term of endearment... after "Pookie" baby wore off.<br />
At one point, I remember being in high school, (Senior Year, I think) and he came back to our home town for a few weeks. I think his sister Nell will remember this too...he visited and we went out as a threesome. I remember a few evenings out with him, and thinking at that time, he really was one of the most handsome men I knew. If I'm not mistaken, he pressed his jeans...meticulous. <br />
We had some good times, and I was entering adulthood. I liked everything about Pete. He was elegant.<br />
After he went away again, more postcards, and I married shortly after high school, and he and I saw one another at another family gathering, a funeral for Nell's beloved husband, Al in 1986, I believe. We joked about Pete's inability to grasp the idea that I was a "married woman" and we warmly shared the same ease and sweet familiarity we had always had together. There was never any explanation for it. We were just kindred spirits.<br />
<br />
That was the last time I would ever see Pete. <br />
<br />
Years went by. Family spread across the country. Sometimes we gathered, but not often, and certainly not enough. We were never, and will never all be together again.<br /><br />
In 2004 I was diagnosed with the Big Breast Cancer, and word spread through the family. <br /><br />
Oh no...not Cheryl. She's too young. She just had that baby! I can practically hear the banter between all of my sincerely concerned family members that had rarely seen or heard from me in the nineteen years since I had married, or nearly that long. ...but a couple of e-mails arrived in my inbox. I remember my cousin Annemarie, the eldest Montera kid sent me love and best wishes. I was moved by the gesture.<br />Chickie & Peter were living locally so they were in the know about my treatment and they kept their kids "in the loop" to the extent that was proper.<br /><br />
My cousin Pete sent me what I would characterize as a "shy" email, almost introducing himself to me and apologizing for being a "guy" and not staying in touch over the years. Imagine...an apology for something that we all, each and every one of us, as cousins was guilty of. <br />It was an email that was newsy, and informative of all things in his life since we had seen each other. I answered with all of the wonderful things going on in my life, and probably a brief outline of what the Treatment Cycle was going to look like for the next six months or so. <br />
<br />Pete answered the following morning...and so it began.<br />
<br />Every Day. Monday through Friday, I would get an email from Pete. I loved Mondays because they would tell about the weekend with his wife and boys, and what the family did.<br />He would share his vacation planning. I remember when he was looking into a Disney Cruise for the family.<br />He shared with me that he called the Disney Cruise folks and when they quoted the price, he told them "I don't want to buy the ship...I want to cruise for a week!" He was funny, and practical. He shared some stories about his travels in the Navy, and lots of updates on his kids. <br />Sports they were involved in, grades they would bring home, anything that was of interest about what we shared in common, our love for our families. Regan & Lucas are just a bit younger than Pete's twins, Justin & Jarrett. Jackson is a bit older. We shared daily conversation. We connected as adults. We took all of the extended family dysfunction and locked it up someplace out of view, from which it could not escape, and we became a new kind of fresh, real family. The kind one would choose if they had all the choices in the world. <br /><br />Treatment ended. I was cured. Emails got fewer and farther between, but not forgotten. We touched base about every two or three months, with news about the kids, or a Holiday wish. In mid-January 2008 I shared with Pete the ordeal that Rosey had been through at the first of that month. She had a "terratoma" tumor the size of a coconut removed, and it had been a harrowing time for our family. I reached out to Pete to share the story, as I knew he would want to know. A couple of days later, an enormous bouquet of Cookies showed up on our porch for Rosey. They were from Pete, Julie, Jackson, Justin and Jarrett. <br />That was only the beginning...<br /><br />Rosey has received a bouquet of cookies for every holiday ever since. Let me put that in perspective...<br />Six years of Cookie Bouquets about six times per year on the doorstep, for a little girl whom he never met.<br />Pete was an imaginary friend to Rosey. <br />Pete was a hero to my husband David. Anyone that shows that kind of love to his family touches David's heart. He reached out to Pete via e-mail, randomly one time after a bouquet arrived. They exchanged pleasantries about fatherhood and gratitude and family, our kind of chosen family. I am so glad that happened. Two of the most important people in my life connected over mutual love for family.<br />Last Father's Day, Rosey made a very special Father's Day Card for Pete. An expression of gratitude, and an exercise in connecting. I'm glad for that too.<br /><br />I didn't mention that I receive a bouquet every Mother's Day, of my very own.<br />They arrive and I send an email thanking Pete, and he writes back to tell me how welcome I am.<br />This year, just last Sunday, I sat down and wrote a "proper" Thank You note to Pete, Julie and the boys.<br />I told him that I appreciate being remembered, and that I love him. <br />I'm not sure he got the Thank You note.<br />Pete was sick last week. Something lingering, from what I've been told.<br />He died suddenly on Friday morning. My cousin, one of the princes in my life and the life of my Rosey, passed away on Lucas' birthday. He left behind four sons, three of which lived with him, one of which was grown. He left behind a wife that by all accounts adored him. He left behind a brother and three sisters that had been estranged from him, and some from each other over the years. He left behind a Mother and Father. His Mother, is the matriarch of our side of the Woods family that remains. <br />We are not a "close" family. I received word of Pete's passing from Annemarie, his big sister, via a private Facebook Message. <br />How do you tell someone that a person who should be alive isn't alive anymore? Is there an appropriate vehicle to deliver such news? I am not certain that the Facebook message wasn't the best way to find out.<br />I was able to read it over and over. "My brother Pete passed away last night. We are all in shock."...<br />What? Read it again. What? Read it again. <br /><br />I will end this post by telling you, readers, that I loved my cousin Pete very much. The good news is that he knew it. We stayed "close" with no expectations, no demands, we never even saw each other again, as we had planned..."this is going to be the year"...wishes don't always come true.<br />We stayed away from touchy subjects, and we never discussed our extended family. We respected each other's boundaries. I dare say, we didn't agree politically or on the topic of religion, but we never discussed such things so it didn't matter. We talked about what we did agree about, our spouses, our kids, our daily lives, movies we'd seen, shows we'd attended, things that our lives are made up of on a daily, real, basis.<br />Love allows you to skip the things that don't matter. Love is what our lives are really comprised of, in the end.<br /><br />I got to tell him I love him, but I didn't get to tell him, goodbye.<br />This is my "goodbye".<br />I will miss Peter P. Montera Jr. forever. Forever...<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-29769343416020591942014-05-22T21:32:00.001-04:002014-05-22T21:32:02.575-04:00Almost...The idea to abandon social media appeals to me. It also frightens me.<div>What if they forget?</div><div>My cyber friends. The people that "like" my "stuff".</div><div>The people that tell me I'm doing a great job.</div><div>The people that validate me? </div><div>Will I be missed?</div><div>Am I going to lose something I've valued? Old friends from high school that remember me as a young, hell raising, singing, love-sick, skinny, loud mouthed, teenager...will they forget that I'm now an old, he'll raising, singing, mothering, not so skinny, slightly quieter, grown up with whom they feel connected?</div><div>Some weren't even really friends, more like acquaintances. I feel like we're truly friends now.</div><div>Connected. </div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">There have been sacrifices. That's true. </span></div><div>I am going to do it. I'm going to black out and hope that everyone comes here, to the blog.</div><div>I love the connection. </div><div>I'm struggling.</div><div>I'm taking the leap on Monday. That will be the first of the hundred day respite.</div><div>I'll still be here.</div><div>Please don't forget.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-72268907051942035282014-04-13T17:09:00.000-04:002014-04-13T17:09:13.241-04:00Week In ReviewAh....Social Media.<br />
I love it. I got a beautiful note in the mail from one who has found my Facebook inspiring. He actually donated to Rosey's Boosterthon and wrote a note to her, about her mom. Priceless.<br />
He knew me years ago and finds my daily updates to my public status something that he looks forward to.<br />
I appreciate that. I love human connection.<br />
<br />
On the other hand, Social Media has caused many private thoughts to be public, and that leads to misunderstanding. I like sharing, and when things matter to me, or touch me, I like to share that with the folks that are interested to stay friends with me on Facebook. If something sounds like it is about you, it might not be. One never really knows an other's intentions, and that leads to a very dark "Three's Company" type situation, when feelings get hurt.<br />
<br />
This week I turned 49. I was honored to be "Employee of the Quarter" in the City where I work (Honored and Humbled). Then things got ... not so great.<br />
I don't plan to share more than is appropriate, but if you've gotten this far, you might be interested.<br />
I was put in the position of defending myself (many times in a few days), and I've chosen not to do so. <br />
That suffices for me and my conscience. <br />
<br />
I am certain that unless one knows the entire story, they should perhaps give another soul the benefit of the doubt. <br />
I was forced to make "decisions" that I had no intention of being involved in, and I will never know if I was right or wrong. I will be content in my intention. I will be second guessed and vilified by those who have chosen to be passive when they had every opportunity to step up. I will survive judgment. I always have.<br />
<br />
I have come to some very strong conclusions through it all. I will continue to share my life and my thoughts and whatever I feel is appropriate to share. I will hope that what I post touches a heart, or gives information, or bridges a gap. I am not a spectacular daughter. I have been very much reminded of that over the past 24 hours by people who do not know me. I am not a spectacular friend. I have been reminded of that by many people, including "friends" that have disappeared from my life and put the blame for that on something that I did or didn't do. I am not a spectacular citizen of the earth. I use plastic bags and water bottles. I am not a spectacular wife. The man I married is far better at everything than I am when it comes to the holy bond of marriage (we've been married 29 years today). I strive to be a good mother. I think it has taken over all other aspirations, and I believe it is when I write about my motherhood that people respond. <br />
I am not perfect. I am flawed, and I am also LARGE in my mistakes and my life in general. There are very few times that I am present and no one knows I'm there. <br />
...but I'm 49 years old. I take full responsibility for every bit of it.<br />
I am not every one's cup of tea. I don't mind that.<br />
I am Employee of the Quarter. I am Zachary, Regan, Lucas and Rosey's Mom, I am David's Wife, Mackensie's Mother in Law, Jack's sleeping companion, and I am content in the seat where I sit at this moment and the view that I have in my windshield ahead. The rear view shows nothing that I regret, and I am going to sail on until I fail so big that there is no picking up the pieces. I am going to live this one, huge, wonderful, life that I've been given. <br />
We are promised nothing, and I will hold no grudge. I've seen what it is like to be angry, or feel like one is owed something by someone. Futile. Ugly. Graceless. <br />
That is not who I want to be. I will strive to be a "Steel Magnolia," the adopted name from the region that I have made my home for longer than any other. A delicate flower from a most beautiful tree, that is one of my favorites. What I have gleaned is that the shade from my Magnolia is only comfortable for those with the most exquisite understanding of what that phrase means.<br />
I'm thankful for those of you who have read this. <br />
It means that you care.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-4018891521891600462014-02-17T18:05:00.000-05:002014-02-17T18:05:56.204-05:00A New Idea...I read an interesting article in Somerset Life, a quarterly magazine that I love. It was about falling in love with your blog...sounds crazy.<br />The thing about it was, it hit home. <br />I love the Artistic Blogs...they're the ones I visit to be inspired. I just can't pull that kind of content off.<br />I am not a photographer. My world is kind of out of kilter, most of the time, so my photos wouldn't reflect the true beauty of my life, because I am kind of the queen of the gorgeous mess. <br />The thing I come back to all the time when I think of how badly I'd like to "dare to imagine a different life"<br />
( I'm para phrasing "You've Got Mail" when Kathleen tells Birdie she's closing the store....I digress) is this; that life includes sharing ideas and stories. <br /><br />I think that's what I am meant to be doing. A true "second act". <br />I see myself clearly. I have had the best run as an entertainer, and I'd like to continue to do that when the opportunity arises for me to be on stage. Look, I love the spotlight, and a microphone, so I will never want to be away completely.<br />I have the pleasure of being able to host events at the Theatre where my son is the Artistic Director, and that gives me the chance to see him use his talents everyday, as I help him pull together loose ends every once in a while. I have the distinct honor of being the mother of all different sorts of artists, actor/director/singers/musicians/writers/visual artists...we have all of these people wrapped up into what is our family. I love the idea of sharing the journey that is being the mother of and raising artists.<br />I also love the idea of sharing the story of this life with other moms or women, or men, or artists, or anyone else that is interested in knowing about it.<br />I have had very unique experiences. They are all worth sharing, even if only to give someone who is searching a bit of perspective about what can be overcome, or understood, or enjoyed about some of life's curve balls. <br />I think I'm going to take a page out of that article I read and just write more and worry less.<br />I am going to share more in hopes that I can change someone's day, every once in a while if they should stumble upon what I share.<br />I am going to try harder to be a force for good when I am able and think my thoughts through in a way that is pleasing to the reader. I want to make them wish to know more and come back to visit again and again, the way we've built an audience at the Theatre. <br />So that's what I've been thinking about lately....<br />Thoughts?<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-32465798837261622412014-01-29T09:40:00.001-05:002014-01-29T09:40:56.142-05:00Observations on a Snow Day1. As far as things go there are few things I love more than watching my children sleep. Every time I see the peaceful face of one of my kids at rest, it takes my breath away.<div><br></div><div>2. I can hear my husband on a conference call from my bedroom and he is a brilliant man. </div><div>I am blown away by the level of knowledge and professional conduct he exhibits in his work.</div><div><br></div><div>3. Snow Day mornings are great for noticing things.</div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNJrNWqMt1AEWC9KjUnwSq0o0YHpZlLsY3mzAmtXYsobbi0pV276SWy49YJmu5eb2wI71SBTEFh-yMKjEHObHU4fZx3ywRR8MbE9M2irQ3PSZ-tWFFdtdwnVHIHZfp3RwqmGEeGmJzX_Tm/s640/blogger-image-1419198817.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNJrNWqMt1AEWC9KjUnwSq0o0YHpZlLsY3mzAmtXYsobbi0pV276SWy49YJmu5eb2wI71SBTEFh-yMKjEHObHU4fZx3ywRR8MbE9M2irQ3PSZ-tWFFdtdwnVHIHZfp3RwqmGEeGmJzX_Tm/s640/blogger-image-1419198817.jpg"></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-7410400922034796562014-01-12T09:58:00.001-05:002014-01-12T09:58:07.954-05:00Weighing inMy mini rant of yesterday was acknowledged by someone that has a similar view of the same situation that I was addressing.<div>The private exchange between she & I was brief and honest.</div><div>It reminded me that there is a time and place for frank, PRIVATE, words between people that might or might not agree.</div><div>Connections. </div><div>Communications.</div><div>Humanity. We didn't solve any problems. We just spoke to each other with respect and honesty.</div><div>Imagine a world built on those two principles.</div><div>Imagine that world beginning one family at a time.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-3780528980141894232014-01-11T10:05:00.001-05:002014-01-11T10:05:51.960-05:00Letting go, gracefully.So, Happy New Year! <div>I want to start with an observation. If one has taken on the task of caring for an incapacitated parent, it is not the right of said "caregiver" to share the private journey on Facebook .</div><div>I am appalled by the insensitive exposure of a woman that has clung to her privacy by a child with a bottomless need for attention. </div><div>Wow.</div><div>I know there isn't one pair of eyes that will see this that knows anything about this pitiful display to which I refer. But to those that might see this musing, let's all take a moment to consider that some things are private, and worthy of that protection. </div><div>I have so many ideas for this little blog in 2014, I just wanted to say this first.</div><div>It is a disclaimer that the things I share will be considerate and honest without being vengeful or expository in any way.</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN4udwX_lB3RCJ07ZDhyphenhyphenEigEF9aUu1_9eRiwFbCu6DMlCBUbHcd6fGUTE6tBeYQDvOoG1rLcHcVaxBCqLoDJZbY6NH_VZj2DgEIUB112Z_WD_2Y89Q5C8xKhtA03Hi_sgajK3KUDUef8yW/s640/blogger-image-1398961344.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN4udwX_lB3RCJ07ZDhyphenhyphenEigEF9aUu1_9eRiwFbCu6DMlCBUbHcd6fGUTE6tBeYQDvOoG1rLcHcVaxBCqLoDJZbY6NH_VZj2DgEIUB112Z_WD_2Y89Q5C8xKhtA03Hi_sgajK3KUDUef8yW/s640/blogger-image-1398961344.jpg"></a></div>Here's to a year of spreading goodness and releasing the past with a kiss goodbye </div><div><br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-44510248758543933012013-12-07T08:49:00.001-05:002013-12-07T08:50:30.130-05:00Through a new lens.Sometimes I think my life is less beautiful than others.<div>Those are the times that I look through the photos on my iPad. When I'm sitting quietly with my device in my lap, many times I'll take a photo of what I see that strikes me as beautiful.</div><div>When things are feeling a little less than lovely, mostly the result of clutter, in my mind, of my home, at my job, I scroll.</div><div>The same cluttered life is beautiful when it is captured through the lens of gratitude and appreciation.</div><div>It is just a matter of taking a moment to look back to a different point of view on a day that things felt just a bit brighter. We all have both kinds of days, don't we?<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjskukB63k85UhOIyxTEvtPXPl8naFbExF0lB1AOuhupD1SYpjgDRbbvAPzmGZYcLpVfwsHPjn_fM8ePJo0Q3X8tVhsMmVQ-FYK3jFgAya_7jxh-krRISc1YjYr7RTme3FBhMKJRfwkfJnH/s640/blogger-image-1865093715.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjskukB63k85UhOIyxTEvtPXPl8naFbExF0lB1AOuhupD1SYpjgDRbbvAPzmGZYcLpVfwsHPjn_fM8ePJo0Q3X8tVhsMmVQ-FYK3jFgAya_7jxh-krRISc1YjYr7RTme3FBhMKJRfwkfJnH/s640/blogger-image-1865093715.jpg"></a></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-33151198162332102192013-12-02T18:52:00.001-05:002013-12-02T18:52:20.242-05:00Things that can't be taught...I've been thinking a lot about things that can't be taught.<br />Many of them can be learned, if we're paying attention, but taught...not really.<br />I am trying to figure out what makes some people act the way they do, (when I figure it out, there is bound to be a big prize, right?) and I'm having difficulty.<br />I am basically an optimistic fellow. I try to remember that my life is really extraordinary, and most days, I am able to do just that. Today wasn't one of those days.<br />Today I was crabby because I am surrounded by ingratitude, and that rubs off. Funny that. Someone else's attitude of ingratitude colors my day, and it always has.<br />A person that complains casts a pall like no other in my life. I was raised around it, and it exhausts me.<br />THAT'S ENOUGH COMPLAINING...I'm finished.<br />I am trying to focus. Focus on ideas and not people. Focus on the future and not the past. Focus on yes and not no. Focus on gratitude. It really all comes back to that for balance in my case.<br />I am grateful for a December that is filled with a lot of wonderful ways to share with the public the beauty of music associated with story, and this time it is in the form of Broadway's A Christmas Carol at our Theatre.<br />It gives Zachary the opportunity to be the King of Christmas. A role he has aspired to since I met him.<br />The work that we do, builds community, and that is priceless. <br />I am grateful that my children asked Santa for very little, if anything, this year because they understand that they have everything they need and much of what they want.<br />I am grateful that most days, I am able to view this life as the adventure that it is.<br />I am grateful that each day is an opportunity to change for the better. I feel like a change is due, and I want to be open to whatever it might be.<br />I've been working toward "letting go deeply" and that is requiring a shift in my consciousness. I'm a hoarder of moments, of things and of feelings. <br />I'm trying to find the balance between remembering and obsessing, between forgiving and forgetting, between giving and accepting. <br />This has been a year of realizations. One thing I've realized quite recently is that people will almost always disappoint. Once in a while, they will surprise you in a way that leaves you short of breath, and those are the moments that I'm going to try to cling to, and let the others go."Letting go deeply" is one of the things that can't be taught. It is something that I am challenging myself to learn each day. Sometimes letting go deeply extends to relationships, no matter how old, or real, or important they might have been.<br />Things that can't be taught... are there any that come to mind immediately for you?<br />I get really "self examiney" at the end of the year. Can you tell?<br /><br /><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-8401726742291973152013-08-20T17:25:00.001-04:002013-08-20T17:25:37.220-04:00A cleaner look.I like this cleaner look.<br />
Less clutter on the blog=less clutter in life?<br />
Here's hoping!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-52318756257046129862013-08-18T19:15:00.002-04:002013-08-18T19:15:37.639-04:00Summer Ends...it always doesI'm never ready for the end of summer.<br />I love Autumn. I love boots and sweaters. I love cool air and Thanksgiving. I love so much about Autumn.<br />I'm going to take a moment to tell you what I love about Summer, before it's gone again.<br /><br />Summer means the moment of "school's out". The moment that the kids jump in the car and we have no place to be at 8:00 a.m. for almost three months. <br />It is very agreeable to me as a Mom, but it is really the memory of the summers of my youth that make it special. My best memories are sensory. I love the smells and tastes of summer. I love the feeling of heat on my skin, sunshine, sticky sweat, all of it.<br />I loved the trips to visit family in Ohio where we'd all sleep in a little tiny cottage style house, cousins that I longed for all year. Burning the trash in a barrel in the back yard and that particular smell. It is still fresh in my mind. Tornado Warnings spent under the breakfast bar, much to the amusement of my Didty.<br />I loved the visits to New Jersey as I became a pre-teen. Summer at the home of more family where I was introduced to Asbury Park, and the magical smells of the boardwalk and the ocean. Watching my great aunts stroll the boardwalk arm in arm while my cousin and I walked behind looking out at the vastness of the ocean and longing for a glimpse inside one of the bars where the band was playing.<br />Playing Ski Ball with the quarters that were the result of Aunt Vi's generosity and winning tickets for treasures. Being regaled with stories of my grandparents in their youth and knowing that I was adored by a woman that I admired and loved so much.<br />When I'm hot and sticky, I remember the ball field, and the shorts and baseball jersey with the number of the pitcher on my back, and the days spent watching, cheering, waiting for all the gang to arrive and then the evenings at the pool and the "party" that inevitably ensued. Summer was some special freedom. It was the moment that I decided to love with my whole heart and threw myself into all that true, young love is, was, and will always be.<br />As I got older...all of 16 & 17, summer was the great adventure. Waiting for the nights to come so we could wildly abandon the light of day in our Station Wagons and Dodge Darts. The group that was inseparable and devoted would create our own fun. The kind of friendship that books are written about, yet don't adequately describe them. The kind of loves that still break your heart at the mention of their names. The summer memories that don't fade, are the ones that I can conjure by a melody, a scent, a certain way the light hits the morning grass, or the evening sky...that's summer.<br />It is the hope that just once, it won't feel like it's flying by.<br />It is the moment that our family crosses the bridge to the Isle of Palms and we roll down the windows, smell the sea air, and take a moment to remember all the summers that have come before.<br />From the moment the kids jump in the car on that last day of school I am a "summer mom" and not a "school mom".<br />A summer mom who tries to be a little lighter in my heart and observant of the signs that the world is as good for these people I have been gifted with as it was for the crew I ran with all those years ago, the cousins, the friends, the love, the ones that made summer so hard to let go...every damned time.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-28829646475719030662013-08-09T08:19:00.001-04:002013-08-09T08:20:32.965-04:00IntentionIntention.<br />
<br />
I had every intention of ... blogging, reading a book, exercising, slowing down, learning to meditate, choosing my battles, letting go, art journaling, becoming famous, writing a book, taking a class, changing, growing, nagging less, understanding more, listening to more music, traveling, eating healthier, drinking more water, saving money, judging less, loving more...Intention.<br />
<br />
Some things are easier imagined than done. <br />
Late at night, when the noise in my brain is finally quieting down, my body relaxes and I think "Tomorrow I'll ..." (pick one of the above)<br />
Maybe "tomorrow" is the problem. There really is only "today". <br />
<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-12415727669267911562013-07-30T21:49:00.000-04:002013-07-30T21:49:10.174-04:00Summer Wind So this summer is blowing by...thus the Summer Wind title.<br />It is a wonderful moment in time. The year Regan turned 16. The year Rosey took Art all summer long.<br />The year Lucas spent many summer evenings at the movies with his girlfriend.<br />The year we went to the Isle of Palms for a family vacation and enjoyed a week at the ocean and eating delicious dinners in restaurants that we'd never tried before.<br />The year I took Regan, Lucas and Rosey to New York for a ten day visit.<br />It's not over yet, and I will be spending some time working on these stories. I will share what I can about the year that is happening right now. The year that is passing in the blink of an eye.<br />I've gotten back to the Blog after our travels, and I'll keep plugging along!<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-86420553411586028402013-06-28T19:42:00.000-04:002013-06-28T19:42:23.071-04:00Okay...so the photo a day didn't work.I wanted to start blogging. I really want to keep blogging. I am not a great "rule" follower. The photo a day thing brought out the rebel in me, so I stopped following the photo a day rule pretty early on in June.<br />That being said, I have so much to say!<br />I've decided to keep hacking away at it.<br />I have been overwhelmed with work for a few years. I help with a little Community Theatre and it wasn't until recently that things have gotten to a place where I am free to do other things. I was working a lot, and when I wasn't working, I was managing situations and personalities. I don't have to do that any longer.<br />That leaves me in a place where I can think about other things that inspire me.<br />Writing has always been something that I enjoy. I used to write to express my teenage heartbreak, and to put my dreams into words. It was something that I was good at and a confidence builder.<br />I believe in stories. I know that we all have one. I have been encouraged many times to "write a book". <br />My life has been crazy. The best kind of crazy, but crazy, none the less. People who know me say it would make a great book.<br />I don't know if I have a book in me, but I am pretty certain that I do have a blog in me.<br />It might not appeal to everyone, but I think I'm going to keep plugging away at it.<br />If you read it, please let me know.<br />I have received the only compliment I need already, so it doesn't have to be a compliment.<br />My High School English teacher Rosemary Evaul complimented a piece that I wrote a few weeks ago.<br />I interpreted that as an A+, (I have excellent self esteem). I'm not looking for compliments, just comments, just let me know that you were here.<br />I'm about to tell my story in the only way I can. When I can. <br />I will write as I'm inspired, or as I remember something worth telling.<br />Let's see where it goes, together.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-59989412589292505522013-06-10T20:16:00.000-04:002013-06-10T20:16:56.898-04:00Days 7 & 8 ....She's cheating again!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsFHn8Ey50VCseubMXA-Ng5Z7yGU_PZ4p0DCu51wUDC2UzTLsUmRK4uaaUF_0hvS7jkO1zw-kCkaZbDTu4DznR2l1F6tyinDtdbUsSiPLCDcRuWLk0wFN9PX_7bJT-X8aJUVj2IeiPcS7H/s1600/020.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsFHn8Ey50VCseubMXA-Ng5Z7yGU_PZ4p0DCu51wUDC2UzTLsUmRK4uaaUF_0hvS7jkO1zw-kCkaZbDTu4DznR2l1F6tyinDtdbUsSiPLCDcRuWLk0wFN9PX_7bJT-X8aJUVj2IeiPcS7H/s320/020.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Car & Outside...Two Days worth of photos in one! My car is outside. I know. It's the cheap way out, but I'm behind!<br />We happened to buy a new vehicle last Wednesday. It is the Nissan Pathfinder, and it is quite nice. What you have to understand is that I loved my Honda Pilot. I wasn't anxious to replace the old friend. We bought it in May of 2004 when we had to upsize for the baby that was on the way!<br />David & I had been married for 19 years and Zachary, our first born was a Junior in High School and Regan & Lucas were 6 years old and we were having a BABY! I remember thinking that there was something magical about that time. Our family was happy, and healthy and changes were abounding.<br />Zachary was at a Residential School for the Arts here in Greenville. I felt like the Baby was the reward for not holding on to him as tightly as I wanted to, and allowing him to pursue his passion. Little did I know, she was about to save my life.*<br />We were planning a trip to the Isle Of Palms for the first time,breaking with tradition of going to Surfside Beach. We decided to buy the new vehicle before our trip, since we needed it in October when the baby was due. That is how we came to buy the Honda. It served me well and has taken the family on two Disney Trips, three New York trips and countless trips to the beaches here in SC not to mention our beautiful Mountain Cabin. There has never been a moment of hesitation for Winter trips to those mountain roads where we have enjoyed the best Christmas Breaks and last Thanksgiving. It has been the faithful vehicle that has gotten my children to school every school day since 2004. They have never taken a school bus, so that is no small thing. It has been reliable and comfortable, and I will miss driving it. We held onto it for Regan. She will be getting her license in the near future, and she'll be the driver of that familiar old friend. It's funny that I feel like I can trust that Honda with my daughter. That's what happens when something never lets you down...you trust it.<br />The Pathfinder is quite nice. I feel like we'll be safe and I'll be happy building a long term relationship.<br />We leave for the Isle Of Palms on Saturday, so we'll see how we fare as a Pathfinder family. Shortly after the beach trip, I'll take my three remaining kids to New York. We'll take that trip with Simon and Garfunkel live in Central Park blaring as I drive and sing and they have their devices plugged in listening to their own tunes or watching their own movies. We can listen to MSNBC on Satellite, or NPR, or the Broadway Channel. Best of all we can listen to The Bridge or The Coffee House for variety of music that will get me "home" for my 30th Anniversary of Graduation.<br />So that is what "cars" mean to me. More memories. More adventures. The "outside" photo...that's just rainy, lately. Not much to post. I'll have some Outside pictures to share from our beautiful beach vacation next week, but that's not when they're due!<br />_________________________________________________________<br />*Stay Tuned....<br />I'm planning to go into details about the lifesaving that I referred to earlier. That will be a theme as I continue to share. Make no mistake. Rosey saved her mother's life. As you read my Blog, you'll understand more about the threads of this life that have lead to my outlook and philosophy of life.<br /><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5757101584965910421.post-77795289869377579782013-06-09T09:07:00.001-04:002013-06-09T09:11:07.252-04:00Way Back When/Better Late than Never<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6kQzHwrSOEYzZvLwvmtesjFYtdlROhhmr4RcI1vYkqJUxRcjpD6tsr_sciBBFkl_KbnVy_3ZNThPyFSwWa8wgpjvEUpiOV0m7JwsYLPYDyfvJblgV8pz6otJU1NQF-qeTgOEow69G7Bk5/s1600/Grand+Union+Wappingers+Falls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6kQzHwrSOEYzZvLwvmtesjFYtdlROhhmr4RcI1vYkqJUxRcjpD6tsr_sciBBFkl_KbnVy_3ZNThPyFSwWa8wgpjvEUpiOV0m7JwsYLPYDyfvJblgV8pz6otJU1NQF-qeTgOEow69G7Bk5/s1600/Grand+Union+Wappingers+Falls.jpg" /></a></div>
This is a very old photo of the Grand Union in Wappingers Falls, New York. This is a flashback that goes way back for me. I was born in Brooklyn, New York, and my parents moved our family of 3 to the Hudson Valley in 1968. My grandparents and many of my Uncles, Aunts and Cousins were already "upstate" as we called it. We lived on Baxtertown Road in Fishkill when we first relocated.<br />
My Grandfather, Jimmy Stapleton, Pop-Pop, as he was known to his grandchildren worked at this Grand Union. He was perpetually friendly, happy and beloved. He was one of the People that was known in the Village Of Wappingers Falls and I know now, that I am a grown up, that there are folks that go their whole lives and are never described as friendly, happy, or beloved. I was a lucky granddaughter to have him for a Pop-Pop. <br />
Another perk for having Pop-Pop as my own, was when my mother enrolled me in Wappinger's Play Group when I was about 3-4 years old was that I met a friend who's Aunt worked with my Pop-Pop, so there was a level of familiarity with the two families. My Nanny & Pop-Pop would take me and pick me up from Play Group, so I guess a conversation ensued. Well, that guy, who's Aunt Emily worked with Pop-Pop is still my pal, brother, person. That was a result of the Grand Union Connection.<br />
My dad worked part time jobs a lot when I was growing up. One of those jobs was at this very Grand Union. I remember my 10th High School Reunion where a young man that I had graduated with asked about my Dad. I had forgotten that he had worked with him, but he didn't forget. He asked about him and told me what a great guy my Dad was, and how much he enjoyed working with him back when we were in High School. I remember being very touched by how fondly he remembered my Dad, and the Grand Union.<br />
Another Grand Union connection.<br />
I worked part time at that very store when I graduated from High School and was working as a Singer. I needed a "real job" so I worked in the Deli Department, and I loved it! About 25 hours a week waiting on people that wanted their cold cuts "just right" was a wonderful experience that has helped me with my Customer Service Skills that I still use all these years later. If you can make an elderly Jewish lady happy with your treatment of her Kosher order, or the precise slices of the Lox, then you're on your way to a happy Customer Service Career!<br />
I'll make a very long story short, and tell the thing I love most about this very Grand Union.<br />
My husband found me there, or actually, I found him.<br />
He had been on a crummy blind date and I met him through that disaster on a Friday night. Of course I was with my best friend that I mentioned earlier, when I met David on that fateful Friday and we were out on the town. I looked a lot different behind the Deli Counter on the following Monday when David walked in.<br />
I have always been bold, so I refreshed his memory and told him that I was the friend of "miss mess" (I'll allow her to remain anonymous, although I've silently offered her my gratitude for the past 30 years)that he had met at "Berties"....another Way Back When.<br />
I reminded him that I was much cuter than I looked in my deli hat, and he believed me.<br />
After about 6 weeks of ham & cheese variations, he asked me out, after I told him that he'd better, because my tenure at Grand Union was ending that very night...I'd gotten a full time day job at Marshall's to supplement my Singing career, and as they say, the rest is history.<br />
Thank you Grand Union. You were an incredibly large part of my formative years.<br />
I was happy that I was able to capture this photo from a Facebook Page with old photos for the Hudson Valley.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18045097436683735541noreply@blogger.com0