Letting go, gracefully.

So, Happy New Year! 

I want to start with an observation. If one has taken on the task of caring for an incapacitated parent, it is not the right of said "caregiver" to share the private journey on Facebook .

I am appalled by the insensitive exposure of a woman that has clung to her privacy by a child with a bottomless need for attention. 

Wow.

I know there isn't one pair of eyes that will see this that knows anything about this pitiful display to which I refer. But to those that might see this musing, let's all take a moment to consider that some things are private, and worthy of that protection. 

I have so many ideas for this little blog in 2014, I just wanted to say this first.

It is a disclaimer that the things I share will be considerate and honest without being vengeful or expository in any way.

Here's to a year of spreading goodness and releasing the past with a kiss goodbye 

Through a new lens.

Sometimes I think my life is less beautiful than others.

Those are the times that I look through the photos on my iPad. When I'm sitting quietly with my device in my lap, many times I'll take a photo of what I see that strikes me as beautiful.

When things are feeling a little less than lovely, mostly the result of clutter, in my mind, of my home, at my job, I scroll.

The same cluttered life is beautiful when it is captured through the lens of gratitude and appreciation.

It is just a matter of taking a moment to look back to a different point of view on a day that things felt just a bit brighter. We all have both kinds of days, don't we?

Things that can't be taught...

I've been thinking a lot about things that can't be taught.
Many of them can be learned, if we're paying attention, but taught...not really.
I am trying to figure out what makes some people act the way they do, (when I figure it out, there is bound to be a big prize, right?) and I'm having difficulty.
I am basically an optimistic fellow.  I try to remember that my life is really extraordinary, and most days, I am able to do just that.  Today wasn't one of those days.
Today I was crabby because I am surrounded by ingratitude, and that rubs off.  Funny that.  Someone else's attitude of ingratitude colors my day, and it always has.
A person that complains casts a pall like no other in my life.  I was raised around it, and it exhausts me.
THAT'S ENOUGH COMPLAINING...I'm finished.
I am trying to focus.  Focus on ideas and not people.  Focus on the future and not the past. Focus on yes and not no. Focus on gratitude.  It really all comes back to that for balance in my case.
I am grateful for a December that is filled with a lot of wonderful ways to share with the public the beauty of music associated with story, and this time it is in the form of Broadway's A Christmas Carol at our Theatre.
It gives Zachary the opportunity to be the King of Christmas.  A role he has aspired to since I met him.
The work that we do, builds community, and that is priceless.
I am grateful that my children asked Santa for very little, if anything, this year because they understand that they have everything they need and much of what they want.
I am grateful that most days, I am able to view this life as the adventure that it is.
I am grateful that each day is an opportunity to change for the better.  I feel like a change is due, and I want to be open to whatever it might be.
I've been working toward "letting go deeply" and that is requiring a shift in my consciousness.  I'm a hoarder of moments, of things and of feelings.
I'm trying to find the balance between remembering and obsessing, between forgiving and forgetting, between giving and accepting.
This has been a year of realizations.  One thing I've realized quite recently is that people will almost always disappoint. Once in a while, they will surprise you in a way that leaves you short of breath, and those are the moments that I'm going to try to cling to, and let the others go."Letting go deeply" is one of the things that can't be taught.  It is something that I am challenging myself to learn each day. Sometimes letting go deeply extends to relationships, no matter how old, or real, or important they might have been.
Things that can't be taught... are there any that come to mind immediately for you?
I get really "self examiney" at the end of the year. Can you tell?

A cleaner look.

I like this cleaner look.
Less clutter on the blog=less clutter in life?
Here's hoping!

Summer Ends...it always does

I'm never ready for the end of summer.
I love Autumn.  I love boots and sweaters. I love cool air and Thanksgiving. I love so much about Autumn.
I'm going to take a moment to tell you what I love about Summer, before it's gone again.

Summer means the moment of "school's out".  The moment that the kids jump in the car and we have no place to be at 8:00 a.m. for almost three months.
It is very agreeable to me as a Mom, but it is really the memory of the summers of my youth that make it special.  My best memories are sensory.  I love the smells and tastes of summer.  I love the feeling of heat on my skin, sunshine, sticky sweat, all of it.
I loved the trips to visit family in Ohio where we'd all sleep in a little tiny cottage style house, cousins that I longed for all year.  Burning the trash in a barrel in the back yard and that particular smell.  It is still fresh in my mind. Tornado Warnings spent under the breakfast bar, much to the amusement of my Didty.
I loved the visits to New Jersey as I became a pre-teen.  Summer at the home of more family where I was introduced to Asbury Park, and the magical smells of the boardwalk and the ocean.  Watching my great aunts stroll the boardwalk arm in arm while my cousin and I walked behind looking out at the vastness of the ocean and longing for a glimpse inside one of the bars where the band was playing.
Playing Ski Ball with the quarters that were the result of Aunt Vi's generosity and winning tickets for treasures. Being regaled with stories of my grandparents in their youth and knowing that I was adored by a woman that I admired and loved so much.
When I'm hot and sticky, I remember the ball field, and the shorts and baseball jersey with the number of the pitcher on my back, and the days spent watching, cheering, waiting for all the gang to arrive and then the evenings at the pool and the "party" that inevitably ensued.  Summer was some special freedom. It was the moment that I decided to love with my whole heart and threw myself into all that true, young love is, was, and will always be.
As I got older...all of 16 & 17, summer was the great adventure.  Waiting for the nights to come so we could wildly abandon the light of day in our Station Wagons and Dodge Darts.  The group that was inseparable and devoted would create our own fun.  The kind of friendship that books are written about, yet don't adequately describe them. The kind of loves that still break your heart at the mention of their names. The summer memories that don't fade, are the ones that I can conjure by a melody, a scent, a certain way the light hits the morning grass, or the evening sky...that's summer.
It is the hope that just once, it won't feel like it's flying by.
It is the moment that our family crosses the bridge to the Isle of Palms and we roll down the windows, smell the sea air, and take a moment to remember all the summers that have come before.
From the moment the kids jump in the car on that last day of school I am a "summer mom" and not a "school mom".
A summer mom who tries to be a little lighter in my heart and observant of the signs that the world is as good for these people I have been gifted with as it was for the crew I ran with all those years ago, the cousins, the friends, the love, the ones that made summer so hard to let go...every damned time.

Intention

Intention.

I had every intention of ... blogging, reading a book, exercising, slowing down, learning to meditate, choosing my battles, letting go, art journaling, becoming famous, writing a book, taking a class, changing, growing, nagging less, understanding more, listening to more music, traveling, eating healthier, drinking more water, saving money, judging less, loving more...Intention.

Some things are easier imagined than done.
Late at night, when the noise in my brain is finally quieting down, my body relaxes and I think "Tomorrow I'll ..." (pick one of the above)
Maybe "tomorrow" is the problem.  There really is only "today".

Summer Wind

So this summer is blowing by...thus the Summer Wind title.
It is a wonderful moment in time.  The year Regan turned 16.  The year Rosey took Art all summer long.
The year Lucas spent many summer evenings at the movies with his girlfriend.
The year we went to the Isle of Palms for a family vacation and enjoyed a week at the ocean and eating delicious dinners in restaurants that we'd never tried before.
The year I took Regan, Lucas and Rosey to New York for a ten day visit.
It's not over yet, and I will be spending some time working on these stories.  I will share what I can about the year that is happening right now. The year that is passing in the blink of an eye.
I've gotten back to the Blog after our travels, and I'll keep plugging along!