Week In Review

Ah....Social Media.
I love it. I got a beautiful note in the mail from one who has found my Facebook inspiring.  He actually donated to Rosey's Boosterthon and wrote a note to her, about her mom.  Priceless.
He knew me years ago and finds my daily updates to my public status something that he looks forward to.
I appreciate that.  I love human connection.

On the other hand, Social Media has caused many private thoughts to be public, and that leads to misunderstanding.  I like sharing, and when things matter to me, or touch me, I like to share that with the folks that are interested to stay friends with me on Facebook.  If something sounds like it is about you, it might not be.  One never really knows an other's intentions, and that leads to a very dark "Three's Company" type situation, when feelings get hurt.

This week I turned 49.  I was honored to be "Employee of the Quarter" in the City where I work (Honored and Humbled).  Then things got ... not so great.
I don't plan to share more than is appropriate, but if you've gotten this far, you might be interested.
I was put in the position of defending myself (many times in a few days), and I've chosen not to do so.
That suffices for me and my conscience.

I am certain that unless one knows the entire story, they should perhaps give another soul the benefit of the doubt.
I was forced to make "decisions" that I had no intention of being involved in, and I will never know if I was right or wrong.  I will be content in my intention.  I will be second guessed and vilified by those who have chosen to be passive when they had every opportunity to step up.  I will survive judgment. I always have.

I have come to some very strong conclusions through it all.  I will continue to share my life and my thoughts and whatever I feel is appropriate to share.  I will hope that what I post touches a heart, or gives information, or bridges a gap.  I am not a spectacular daughter.  I have been very much reminded of that over the past 24 hours by people who do not know me.  I am not a spectacular friend. I have been reminded of that by many people, including "friends" that have disappeared from my life and put the blame for that on something that I did or didn't do. I am not a spectacular citizen of the earth.  I use plastic bags and water bottles. I am not a spectacular wife. The man I married is far better at everything than I am when it comes to the holy bond of marriage (we've been married 29 years today).  I strive to be a good mother.  I think it has taken over all other aspirations, and I believe it is when I write about my motherhood that people respond.
I am not perfect. I am flawed, and I am also LARGE in my mistakes and my life in general.  There are very few times that I am present and no one knows I'm there.
...but I'm 49 years old.  I take full responsibility for every bit of it.
I am not every one's cup of tea. I don't mind that.
I am Employee of the Quarter. I am Zachary, Regan, Lucas and Rosey's Mom, I am David's Wife, Mackensie's Mother in Law, Jack's sleeping companion, and I am content in the seat where I sit at this moment and the view that I have in my windshield ahead.  The rear view shows nothing that I regret, and I am going to sail on until I fail so big that there is no picking up the pieces.  I am going to live this one, huge, wonderful, life that I've been given.
We are promised nothing, and I will hold no grudge. I've seen what it is like to be angry, or feel like one is owed something by someone.  Futile. Ugly. Graceless.
That is not who I want to be.  I will strive to be a "Steel Magnolia," the adopted name from the region that I have made my home for longer than any other.  A delicate flower from a most beautiful tree, that is one of my favorites.  What I have gleaned is that the shade from my Magnolia is only comfortable for those with the most exquisite understanding of what that phrase means.
I'm thankful for those of you who have read this.
It means that you care.

A New Idea...

I read an interesting article in Somerset Life, a quarterly magazine that I love. It was about falling in love with your blog...sounds crazy.
The thing about it was, it hit home.
I love the Artistic Blogs...they're the ones I visit to be inspired.  I just can't pull that kind of content off.
I am not a photographer.  My world is kind of out of kilter, most of the time, so my photos wouldn't reflect the true beauty of my life, because I am kind of the queen of the gorgeous mess.
The thing I come back to all the time when I think of how badly I'd like to "dare to imagine a different life"
( I'm para phrasing "You've Got Mail" when Kathleen tells Birdie she's closing the store....I digress) is this; that life includes sharing ideas and stories.

I think that's what I am meant to be doing.  A true "second act".
I see myself clearly.  I have had the best run as an entertainer, and I'd like to continue to do that when the opportunity arises for me to be on stage.  Look, I love the spotlight, and a microphone, so I will never want to be away completely.
I have the pleasure of being able to host events at the Theatre where my son is the Artistic Director, and that gives me the chance to see him use his talents everyday, as I help him pull together loose ends every once in a while. I have the distinct honor of being the mother of all different sorts of artists, actor/director/singers/musicians/writers/visual artists...we have all of these people wrapped up into what is our family.  I love the idea of sharing the journey that is being the mother of and raising artists.
I also love the idea of sharing the story of this life with other moms or women, or men, or artists, or anyone else that is interested in knowing about it.
I have had very unique experiences.  They are all worth sharing, even if only to give someone who is searching a bit of perspective about what can be overcome, or understood, or enjoyed about some of life's curve balls.
I think I'm going to take a page out of that article I read and just write more and worry less.
I am going to share more in hopes that I can change someone's day, every once in a while if they should stumble upon what I share.
I am going to try harder to be a force for good when I am able and think my thoughts through in a way that is pleasing to the reader. I want to make them wish to know more and come back to visit again and again, the way we've built an audience at the Theatre.
So that's what I've been thinking about lately....
Thoughts?

Summer Wind

So this summer is blowing by...thus the Summer Wind title.
It is a wonderful moment in time.  The year Regan turned 16.  The year Rosey took Art all summer long.
The year Lucas spent many summer evenings at the movies with his girlfriend.
The year we went to the Isle of Palms for a family vacation and enjoyed a week at the ocean and eating delicious dinners in restaurants that we'd never tried before.
The year I took Regan, Lucas and Rosey to New York for a ten day visit.
It's not over yet, and I will be spending some time working on these stories.  I will share what I can about the year that is happening right now. The year that is passing in the blink of an eye.
I've gotten back to the Blog after our travels, and I'll keep plugging along!

Days 7 & 8 ....She's cheating again!

Car & Outside...Two Days worth of photos in one!  My car is outside.  I know.  It's the cheap way out, but I'm behind!
We happened to buy a new vehicle last Wednesday. It is the Nissan Pathfinder, and it is quite nice.  What you have to understand is that I loved my Honda Pilot. I wasn't anxious to replace the old friend. We bought it in May of 2004 when we had to upsize for the baby that was on the way!
David & I had been married for 19 years and Zachary, our first born was a Junior in High School and Regan & Lucas were 6 years old and we were having a BABY!  I remember thinking that there was something magical about that time.  Our family was happy, and healthy and changes were abounding.
Zachary was at a Residential School for the Arts here in Greenville.  I felt like the Baby was the reward for not holding on to him as tightly as I wanted to, and allowing him to pursue his passion.  Little did I know, she was about to save my life.*
We were planning a trip to the Isle Of Palms for the first time,breaking with tradition of going to Surfside Beach.  We decided to buy the new vehicle before our trip, since we needed it in October when the baby was due.  That is how we came to buy the Honda.  It served me well and has taken the family on two Disney Trips, three New York trips and countless trips to the beaches here in SC not to mention our beautiful Mountain Cabin.  There has never been a moment of hesitation for Winter trips to those mountain roads where we have enjoyed the best Christmas Breaks and last Thanksgiving.  It has been the faithful vehicle that has gotten my children to school every school day since 2004. They have never taken a school bus, so that is no small thing.  It has been reliable and comfortable, and I will miss driving it.  We held onto it for Regan.  She will be getting her license in the near future, and she'll be the driver of that familiar old friend.  It's funny that I feel like I can trust that Honda with my daughter.  That's what happens when something never lets you down...you trust it.
The Pathfinder is quite nice.  I feel like we'll be safe and I'll be happy building a long term relationship.
We leave for the Isle Of Palms on Saturday, so we'll see how we fare as a Pathfinder family.  Shortly after the beach trip, I'll take my three remaining kids to New York. We'll take that trip with Simon and Garfunkel live in Central Park blaring as I drive and sing and they have their devices plugged in listening to their own tunes or watching their own movies.  We can listen to MSNBC on Satellite, or NPR, or the Broadway Channel.  Best of all we can listen to The Bridge or The Coffee House for variety of music that will get me "home" for my 30th Anniversary of Graduation.
So that is what "cars" mean to me.  More memories.  More adventures.  The "outside" photo...that's just rainy, lately.  Not much to post.  I'll have some Outside pictures to share from our beautiful beach vacation next week, but that's not when they're due!
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*Stay Tuned....
I'm planning to go into details about the lifesaving that I referred to earlier.  That will be a theme as I continue to share.  Make no mistake.  Rosey saved her mother's life. As you read my Blog, you'll understand more about the threads of this life that have lead to my outlook and philosophy of life.

Vacation

Im the worst blogger in history! I don't feel too awfully bad about that considering how long blogging has been a thing. I am a great vacationer,however and that must count for something. I am ever tired of Facebook because I'd like a way to stay in touch with people who interest me without having to filter those that don't. I am proud of the SCOTUS today. I deleted family members from FB this week over politics, and while it makes me sad, I had to minimize the chance of coming unglued on people that share the last name my children and their children will carry. At the end of the day, she couldn't care less what I think, so it's even Steven. Funny. Politics divides, as does religion. Love is the only right answer.

Here I go...again

May 1st.  Sooner than I thought. I was planning a Facebook Break, but it came sooner than I had imagined.  I took the Summer off last year, but this year, I needed a longer break.
I love my life. I love my job. I love it all.
I just need to figure out how to balance it all so I can feel the love every day, and not feel so tired sometimes.
Wanna help me?  Wanna cheer me on?
I want to hear from my friends from "the old days" Sheri, Marty, Nell, Barbara, Janene, Terri, Victoria, everyone from RCK, all of you matter to me.
My long distance friends and family that have found me on Facebook, I don't want to be out of touch.
I just don't want to let anything take my time.
My time is so precious that I shouldn't have to weed through the posts on my "timeline" to be connected to people that I care about.
For my everyday people...my F.I.R.E. People...we're a team.
We're beyond family, we work together to make the world better.
Let me know...
Let me know why you're here reading it.
Let me know what you want to talk about.
Let me be in your life by choice, not because I turn up on your news feed.
What a wonderful world we live in that we can connect in such a way.
I'm going to try to really share what's in my heart.
Scared?

Monday Highlights and what's to come!

So it's been a week since the big FB sign off.  No big deal.
We finished the "homeschool" year with little flourish and learned a lot about ourselves and each other.
I watched the Pelicano Men come together and care lovingly for their Dad who had major surgery.
The pool is open.
We dined with friends on Friday and had a really great evening.
I had lunch with my friend who is leaving to spend the summer in France with her family.
Zachary and Mackensie returned from their week at the beach.
F.I.R.E. and FICC had an evening at Downtown Alive with some serious "people watching".
I am in the middle of trying to compose a schedule for the F.I.R.E. 2011/2012 Season and make sure that I hit all the high points of my responsibilities there.
Looking forward to a busy couple of weeks as Rosey embarks upon her first Summer Camp at F.I.R.E.'s Disney Cinderella Kids Camp.  Regan will be a volunteer assistant.
Lucas has his RUSH concert Wednesday night.
That's what's happening.  I'll get into the details as the weeks go on, but if I was on FB, these would be the bullets/status/newsfeed items.

So You Think You Can Blog?!

January 1, 2010...

This is the year of the story.
I am going to BLOG. I mean it.
There are so many things to share, and it's time to share them here and see who is paying attention.
Stay tuned to see what I'll be doing and comment when you feel like you want to.
Dialogue. Communication. Sharing...
That's what our lives should be about.
I want to talk about ideas and things that matter and this will be the place that I start.
I did a lot last year and didn't blog it, that was a mistake. Join me to see what I come up with for the coming year and help me keep my promise. Let me know what you think.
I'll try to keep it interesting, if you know me, you know that won't be too hard!

Happy New Year!