Quote from Souza

" For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This persective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one."

The light goes on!

It came to me today, as I stood in the shower...where I have some of my best ideas!
I am not memorizing lines, I'm memorizing conversations.
I have so very many conversations memorized (ask anyone who has ever said anything dumb that I quote back to them each chance I get). Conversations are what life is really made up of. Do we agree, do we disagree, do we fight, do we pause to hear what the other person is saying or are we simply thinking up what we're going to say next?
The conversations we have are what makes us who we are. Fanny's conversations are created by Isobel Lennart, so the words are contrived. They are educated guesses about what Ms. Brice might have said to the people in her life. That makes the conversations about relationships. That is what I have to work on. What is the depth of the relationships that are written for this show. How far can we go with words on a page and people who are pretending?
I am not a pretender.
This is going to be weird.
I love my cast mates. It is my fortunate situation to be in a show with people that I really do love. My Nicky has been my friend for 10 years. I love him. I think he's handsome, and fancy and anytime I've ever asked him to help me out, he has done it. He has impeccable taste and he thinks I'm funny...He also thinks I look like a supermodel in German Vogue, so that makes me love him more.
My Mother, Rosie Brice is a new person in my life who I feel very deeply connected to. She is a mom who loves her only son more than anything else. I was her, at her age, so she is like a mirror into my young soul. She is talented beyond any measure.
She is beautiful, funny, and generous, the perfect mother, and for the next six weeks, she's mine.
The Eddie Ryan character is a deeply developed relationship for Fanny. My Eddie is a young man who could be my son, but he's not. I was immediately drawn to him because he's familiar. Come to find out, his mother is from a neighboring town to the one where I grew up. Regional coincidence and the age similarity between myself and his mother have created a bond between us. My very best friend is a man, so there is no problem for me relating to Fanny loving Eddie regardless of his opinion of Nicky, the great love of her life. A long time ago, I had a similar relationship that caused my best friend the same anxiety that Nicky causes Eddie, so that is a very sympathetic "love affair" that I can relate to. Aren't our friends right...almost always?

The Photo

I was in Manhattan for my 25th High School Reunion Dinner in December of 2008. I made a point to stand in the shadow of the New Amsterdam Theatre. It was the home of the Ziegfeld Follies and Fanny Brice was a star there, within those very walls.
I went alone, so I could take a moment and think about how she felt when she walked through the stage doors. Of course there is an alley and you can see the actual path that she walked.
I was glad I went. I thought about the difference in the world since she was there.
She was a part of the biggest show on Broadway when she was with the Follies. She was, for a time, the biggest star. We don't see much of that in our time. We have
"stars" who don't have much talent. We have made celebrities out of ordinary people by virtue of "reality" t.v. There is no talent required. Broadway isn't a home for the gypsies of the Theatre anymore, it has become a commercial proposition where the actor may transition from film to stage as a novelty, regardless of their ability to execute the material with integrity that is unique to live theatre. It's unfortunate that many of the lines have been blurred.
The nature of Show Business has evolved for better or worse.
Maybe that's why I love the show Funny Girl, so much. Now that we're actually in production, I can see that it is as "simple" as I always thought it would be.
It's a story of a person. She was extraordinary, but she was a person with talent, feelings, and flaws. She happened to be funny, so that was a defense that worked for her in every public situation, including the humiliation of her husband's incarceration. Show business began and ended on the Broadway Stage in New York City at the time that Fanny was with the Follies. She was one of many members of a very successful company, but she had the something special that transcended the chorus.
What was that thing?
Who has it?
Most importantly, who decides who has it, or is anybody even looking for it anymore?

Slow and Steady

After rehearsal Tuesday, I was exhilerated. I do love the story of Funny Girl.
The words are easy for me to say. Fanny was a fast talker, a trait which has also been attributed to me.
I have spent several hours with my script since Tuesday and I'm trying to come up with a system that works for me to memorize so very much dialogue.
It won't be easy, but Fanny's conversations are much like ones that I might have myself. I just have to keep reminding myself that she's a person that I can relate to.
This is going to be interesting.
I feel like we're really getting started now.

Real Rehearsal

I'd say last night was the first "real" rehearsal, for me. The dancers have spent a lot of time working on the big numbers, but Fanny had to work last night.
It was orientation with the set and some entrances and exits as we read thru the script up until the big "Henry Street" number.
I know Fanny Brice pretty well, so the challenge will be learning the script, as it's written and being true to the woman that she was, not a character I get to create.
It is a daunting task to have a dream come true. The challenge is before me, and I have no choice but to succeed.
Assuming the role of cast member is weird, too. I'm used to trying to help Anita keep the order in the court, so to speak, and this is no longer my task. It is an adult rep show, and the teens that are involved are great. We don't have any behaviour problems at F.I.R.E. It wouldn't be tolerated.
So I am going to try to find a way to be entirely present through this experience.
I plan to seize the day that I got to play the only role I ever thought I might be good at, and I'm going to work hard at doing justice to the beautiful score.
That's enough, for me.
Thanks in advance to all my cast mates who will bring these people to life and who will see the look of panic in my eyes every time I go up on a line. Help a mother out and don't laugh, please!