Dec 7, 2013

Through a new lens.

Sometimes I think my life is less beautiful than others.
Those are the times that I look through the photos on my iPad. When I'm sitting quietly with my device in my lap, many times I'll take a photo of what I see that strikes me as beautiful.
When things are feeling a little less than lovely, mostly the result of clutter, in my mind, of my home, at my job, I scroll.
The same cluttered life is beautiful when it is captured through the lens of gratitude and appreciation.
It is just a matter of taking a moment to look back to a different point of view on a day that things felt just a bit brighter. We all have both kinds of days, don't we?

Dec 2, 2013

Things that can't be taught...

I've been thinking a lot about things that can't be taught.
Many of them can be learned, if we're paying attention, but taught...not really.
I am trying to figure out what makes some people act the way they do, (when I figure it out, there is bound to be a big prize, right?) and I'm having difficulty.
I am basically an optimistic fellow.  I try to remember that my life is really extraordinary, and most days, I am able to do just that.  Today wasn't one of those days.
Today I was crabby because I am surrounded by ingratitude, and that rubs off.  Funny that.  Someone else's attitude of ingratitude colors my day, and it always has.
A person that complains casts a pall like no other in my life.  I was raised around it, and it exhausts me.
THAT'S ENOUGH COMPLAINING...I'm finished.
I am trying to focus.  Focus on ideas and not people.  Focus on the future and not the past. Focus on yes and not no. Focus on gratitude.  It really all comes back to that for balance in my case.
I am grateful for a December that is filled with a lot of wonderful ways to share with the public the beauty of music associated with story, and this time it is in the form of Broadway's A Christmas Carol at our Theatre.
It gives Zachary the opportunity to be the King of Christmas.  A role he has aspired to since I met him.
The work that we do, builds community, and that is priceless.
I am grateful that my children asked Santa for very little, if anything, this year because they understand that they have everything they need and much of what they want.
I am grateful that most days, I am able to view this life as the adventure that it is.
I am grateful that each day is an opportunity to change for the better.  I feel like a change is due, and I want to be open to whatever it might be.
I've been working toward "letting go deeply" and that is requiring a shift in my consciousness.  I'm a hoarder of moments, of things and of feelings.
I'm trying to find the balance between remembering and obsessing, between forgiving and forgetting, between giving and accepting.
This has been a year of realizations.  One thing I've realized quite recently is that people will almost always disappoint. Once in a while, they will surprise you in a way that leaves you short of breath, and those are the moments that I'm going to try to cling to, and let the others go."Letting go deeply" is one of the things that can't be taught.  It is something that I am challenging myself to learn each day. Sometimes letting go deeply extends to relationships, no matter how old, or real, or important they might have been.
Things that can't be taught... are there any that come to mind immediately for you?
I get really "self examiney" at the end of the year. Can you tell?


Aug 20, 2013

A cleaner look.

I like this cleaner look.
Less clutter on the blog=less clutter in life?
Here's hoping!

Aug 18, 2013

Summer Ends...it always does

I'm never ready for the end of summer.
I love Autumn.  I love boots and sweaters. I love cool air and Thanksgiving. I love so much about Autumn.
I'm going to take a moment to tell you what I love about Summer, before it's gone again.

Summer means the moment of "school's out".  The moment that the kids jump in the car and we have no place to be at 8:00 a.m. for almost three months.
It is very agreeable to me as a Mom, but it is really the memory of the summers of my youth that make it special.  My best memories are sensory.  I love the smells and tastes of summer.  I love the feeling of heat on my skin, sunshine, sticky sweat, all of it.
I loved the trips to visit family in Ohio where we'd all sleep in a little tiny cottage style house, cousins that I longed for all year.  Burning the trash in a barrel in the back yard and that particular smell.  It is still fresh in my mind. Tornado Warnings spent under the breakfast bar, much to the amusement of my Didty.
I loved the visits to New Jersey as I became a pre-teen.  Summer at the home of more family where I was introduced to Asbury Park, and the magical smells of the boardwalk and the ocean.  Watching my great aunts stroll the boardwalk arm in arm while my cousin and I walked behind looking out at the vastness of the ocean and longing for a glimpse inside one of the bars where the band was playing.
Playing Ski Ball with the quarters that were the result of Aunt Vi's generosity and winning tickets for treasures. Being regaled with stories of my grandparents in their youth and knowing that I was adored by a woman that I admired and loved so much.
When I'm hot and sticky, I remember the ball field, and the shorts and baseball jersey with the number of the pitcher on my back, and the days spent watching, cheering, waiting for all the gang to arrive and then the evenings at the pool and the "party" that inevitably ensued.  Summer was some special freedom. It was the moment that I decided to love with my whole heart and threw myself into all that true, young love is, was, and will always be.
As I got older...all of 16 & 17, summer was the great adventure.  Waiting for the nights to come so we could wildly abandon the light of day in our Station Wagons and Dodge Darts.  The group that was inseparable and devoted would create our own fun.  The kind of friendship that books are written about, yet don't adequately describe them. The kind of loves that still break your heart at the mention of their names. The summer memories that don't fade, are the ones that I can conjure by a melody, a scent, a certain way the light hits the morning grass, or the evening sky...that's summer.
It is the hope that just once, it won't feel like it's flying by.
It is the moment that our family crosses the bridge to the Isle of Palms and we roll down the windows, smell the sea air, and take a moment to remember all the summers that have come before.
From the moment the kids jump in the car on that last day of school I am a "summer mom" and not a "school mom".
A summer mom who tries to be a little lighter in my heart and observant of the signs that the world is as good for these people I have been gifted with as it was for the crew I ran with all those years ago, the cousins, the friends, the love, the ones that made summer so hard to let go...every damned time.

Aug 9, 2013

Intention

Intention.

I had every intention of ... blogging, reading a book, exercising, slowing down, learning to meditate, choosing my battles, letting go, art journaling, becoming famous, writing a book, taking a class, changing, growing, nagging less, understanding more, listening to more music, traveling, eating healthier, drinking more water, saving money, judging less, loving more...Intention.

Some things are easier imagined than done.
Late at night, when the noise in my brain is finally quieting down, my body relaxes and I think "Tomorrow I'll ..." (pick one of the above)
Maybe "tomorrow" is the problem.  There really is only "today".




Jul 30, 2013

Summer Wind

So this summer is blowing by...thus the Summer Wind title.
It is a wonderful moment in time.  The year Regan turned 16.  The year Rosey took Art all summer long.
The year Lucas spent many summer evenings at the movies with his girlfriend.
The year we went to the Isle of Palms for a family vacation and enjoyed a week at the ocean and eating delicious dinners in restaurants that we'd never tried before.
The year I took Regan, Lucas and Rosey to New York for a ten day visit.
It's not over yet, and I will be spending some time working on these stories.  I will share what I can about the year that is happening right now. The year that is passing in the blink of an eye.
I've gotten back to the Blog after our travels, and I'll keep plugging along!

Jun 28, 2013

Okay...so the photo a day didn't work.

I wanted to start blogging.  I really want to keep blogging.  I am not a great "rule" follower.  The photo a day thing brought out the rebel in me, so I stopped following the photo a day rule pretty early on in June.
That being said, I have so much to say!
I've decided to keep hacking away at it.
I have been overwhelmed with work for a few years.  I help with a little Community Theatre and it wasn't until recently that things have gotten to a place where I am free to do other things. I was working a lot, and when I wasn't working, I was managing situations and personalities.  I don't have to do that any longer.
That leaves me in a place where I can think about other things that inspire me.
Writing has always been something that I enjoy.  I used to write to express my teenage heartbreak, and to put my dreams into words. It was something that I was good at and a confidence builder.
I believe in stories.  I know that we all have one.  I have been encouraged many times to "write a book".
My life has been crazy.  The best kind of crazy, but crazy, none the less. People who know me say it would make a great book.
I don't know if I have a book in me, but I am pretty certain that I do have a blog in me.
It might not appeal to everyone, but I think I'm going to keep plugging away at it.
If you read it, please let me know.
I have received the only compliment I need already, so it doesn't have to be a compliment.
My High School English teacher Rosemary Evaul complimented a piece that I wrote a few weeks ago.
I interpreted that as an A+, (I have excellent self esteem).  I'm not looking for compliments, just comments, just let me know that you were here.
I'm about to tell my story in the only way I can.  When I can.
I will write as I'm inspired, or as I remember something worth telling.
Let's see where it goes, together.

Jun 10, 2013

Days 7 & 8 ....She's cheating again!

Car & Outside...Two Days worth of photos in one!  My car is outside.  I know.  It's the cheap way out, but I'm behind!
We happened to buy a new vehicle last Wednesday. It is the Nissan Pathfinder, and it is quite nice.  What you have to understand is that I loved my Honda Pilot. I wasn't anxious to replace the old friend. We bought it in May of 2004 when we had to upsize for the baby that was on the way!
David & I had been married for 19 years and Zachary, our first born was a Junior in High School and Regan & Lucas were 6 years old and we were having a BABY!  I remember thinking that there was something magical about that time.  Our family was happy, and healthy and changes were abounding.
Zachary was at a Residential School for the Arts here in Greenville.  I felt like the Baby was the reward for not holding on to him as tightly as I wanted to, and allowing him to pursue his passion.  Little did I know, she was about to save my life.*
We were planning a trip to the Isle Of Palms for the first time,breaking with tradition of going to Surfside Beach.  We decided to buy the new vehicle before our trip, since we needed it in October when the baby was due.  That is how we came to buy the Honda.  It served me well and has taken the family on two Disney Trips, three New York trips and countless trips to the beaches here in SC not to mention our beautiful Mountain Cabin.  There has never been a moment of hesitation for Winter trips to those mountain roads where we have enjoyed the best Christmas Breaks and last Thanksgiving.  It has been the faithful vehicle that has gotten my children to school every school day since 2004. They have never taken a school bus, so that is no small thing.  It has been reliable and comfortable, and I will miss driving it.  We held onto it for Regan.  She will be getting her license in the near future, and she'll be the driver of that familiar old friend.  It's funny that I feel like I can trust that Honda with my daughter.  That's what happens when something never lets you down...you trust it.
The Pathfinder is quite nice.  I feel like we'll be safe and I'll be happy building a long term relationship.
We leave for the Isle Of Palms on Saturday, so we'll see how we fare as a Pathfinder family.  Shortly after the beach trip, I'll take my three remaining kids to New York. We'll take that trip with Simon and Garfunkel live in Central Park blaring as I drive and sing and they have their devices plugged in listening to their own tunes or watching their own movies.  We can listen to MSNBC on Satellite, or NPR, or the Broadway Channel.  Best of all we can listen to The Bridge or The Coffee House for variety of music that will get me "home" for my 30th Anniversary of Graduation.
So that is what "cars" mean to me.  More memories.  More adventures.  The "outside" photo...that's just rainy, lately.  Not much to post.  I'll have some Outside pictures to share from our beautiful beach vacation next week, but that's not when they're due!
_________________________________________________________
*Stay Tuned....
I'm planning to go into details about the lifesaving that I referred to earlier.  That will be a theme as I continue to share.  Make no mistake.  Rosey saved her mother's life. As you read my Blog, you'll understand more about the threads of this life that have lead to my outlook and philosophy of life.

Jun 9, 2013

Way Back When/Better Late than Never

This is a very old photo of the Grand Union in Wappingers Falls, New York.  This is a flashback that goes way back for me.  I was born in Brooklyn, New York, and my parents moved our family of 3 to the Hudson Valley in 1968.  My grandparents and many of my Uncles, Aunts and Cousins were already "upstate" as we called it.  We lived on Baxtertown Road in Fishkill when we first relocated.
My Grandfather, Jimmy Stapleton, Pop-Pop, as he was known to his grandchildren worked at this Grand Union.  He was perpetually friendly, happy and beloved.  He was one of the People that was known in the Village Of Wappingers Falls and I know now, that I am a grown up, that there are folks that go their whole lives and are never described as friendly, happy, or beloved.  I was a lucky granddaughter to have him for a Pop-Pop.
Another perk for having Pop-Pop as my own, was when my mother enrolled me in Wappinger's Play Group when I was about 3-4 years old  was that I met a friend who's Aunt worked with my Pop-Pop, so there was a level of familiarity with the two families. My Nanny & Pop-Pop would take me and pick me up from Play Group, so I guess a conversation ensued.  Well, that guy, who's Aunt Emily worked with Pop-Pop is still my pal, brother, person.  That was a result of the Grand Union Connection.
My dad worked part time jobs a lot when I was growing up.  One of those jobs was at this very Grand Union.  I remember my 10th High School Reunion where a young man that I had graduated with asked about my Dad.  I had forgotten that he had worked with him, but he didn't forget.  He asked about him and told me what a great guy my Dad was, and how much he enjoyed working with him back when we were in High School.  I remember being very touched by how fondly he remembered my Dad, and the Grand Union.
Another Grand Union connection.
I worked part time at that very store when I graduated from High School and was working as a Singer.  I needed a "real job" so I worked in the Deli Department, and I loved it!  About 25 hours a week waiting on people that wanted their cold cuts "just right" was a wonderful experience that has helped me with my Customer Service Skills that I still use all these years later.  If you can make an elderly Jewish lady happy with your treatment of her Kosher order, or the precise slices of the Lox, then you're on your way to a happy Customer Service Career!
I'll make a very long story short, and tell the thing I love most about this very Grand Union.
My husband found me there, or actually, I found him.
He had been on a crummy blind date and I met him through that disaster on a Friday night.  Of course I was with my best friend that I mentioned earlier, when I met David on that fateful Friday and we were out on the town.  I looked a lot different behind the Deli Counter on the following Monday when David walked in.
I have always been bold, so I refreshed his memory and told him that I was the friend of "miss mess" (I'll allow her to remain anonymous, although I've silently offered her my gratitude for the past 30 years)that he had met at "Berties"....another Way Back When.
I reminded him that I was much cuter than I looked in my deli hat, and he believed me.
After about 6 weeks of ham & cheese variations, he asked me out, after I told him that he'd better, because my tenure at Grand Union was ending that very night...I'd gotten a full time day job at Marshall's to supplement my Singing career,  and as they say, the rest is history.
Thank you Grand Union.  You were an incredibly large part of my formative years.
I was happy that I was able to capture this photo from a Facebook Page with old photos for the Hudson Valley.


Jun 5, 2013

OOTD & Water....Photos Day 4&5

If you know me, you know that I have a great admiration for Little Edie Beale.  She coined the phrase "The best Costume for Today" in the Classic Documentary about her life with her Mother "Grey Gardens". so I will refer to the OOTD in those words.  The Outfit of the day is, and will always be the Costume for Today, for me.  Notice a white T-shirt ... that is pretty much my "costume" in Summer.  I wear a lot of white T-shirts, and jeans.  I wear a lot of black T-shirts and jeans.  I wear a lot of sweaters and jeans when it's not too hot.  I kind of have a reliable "look" that is casual and comfortable, and rarely looks like much thought went into it.  I love fashion, and I love to dress for occasions, but most days are ordinary, and don't call for too much planning for things like "costumes".  I love to share clothes with Regan and we talk about clothes a lot. So that is the OOTD.  White T-shirt, White Summer Sweater and Brown Linen Pants that you can't see.

The photo for day 5 is Water.  I decided to use the water bottle that sits on my desk from my visit in April to my friend Jonathan Capehart, Opinion Writer for The Washington Post.  He graciously entertained the kids and I at the Famous Washington Post News Room.  We got the Cadillac Tour and a huge bag of goodies for everyone. Lucas plans to attend Columbia University for Journalism, so Jonathan was kind enough to spend time talking about the business and then he gifted Lucas with a real Reporter's Notebook.  Rosey got a Washington Post Stuffed "Reporter Dog" with a nose for news.
David got a great ball cap, and we all got shirts, water bottles, and a WP Umbrella.
I thought this photo was a great way to document the day, because I didn't have the presence of mind to get a photo of all of my children with the Pulitzer Prize Winning Journalist that happens to be a dear sweet friend that took time out of his busy day to spend time with me and my kids.

Jun 3, 2013

Daily Picture Day 3: Pet

Jack. His name is Jack. He came to our family one Christmas morning and our lives changed for the better.
He's a companion, a comfort and a true friend.  He has taught our kids what it is to be responsible for another being.  He needs us, completely. There is no judgement, no disappointment, only devotion.  That devotion goes both ways.  We are committed to caring for him as we care for each other.  We meet his needs and take him into consideration when we make decisions because we don't want anyone in our family to think that they would be any less "considered" in the scheme of things.  I guess Jack has made us even more openly considerate, and that is a wonderful thing to learn.  So Daily Picture #3 made me think of all of the love that Jack has brought to us, and that is something to "blog" about.
It's not that hard to come up with things to write about when I take my head out of the daily grind and focus on the things that make my life so truly extraordinary.
xxoo

Jun 2, 2013

June Photo Challenge Day 2: Sky

Today the photo is Sky.
I took it this morning from the deck. It's rainy now, so I'm glad I was planning ahead.  This is what's going on under this little patch of sky today...
I decided to share a picture of myself too, because I feel like every day is a totally different look that is worth noting.  Dinner will be Ribs that have braised in the oven. David will sear them on the grill.  I made baked beans, too.  A Summer favorite, and today is the first batch for 2013.
Zachary and Mackensie are coming for dinner.  We haven't done much of anything today, and that's okay.
Some Hallmark Channel, and some Oprah's Master Class.
Of course CBS Sunday Morning caused me some heartache. Adam Levine won't ever live anyplace but California, so that extinguishes his chances of retiring with me...I'll be in Manhattan...c'est la vie!
Sue Mengers is the subject of a One Woman Show on Broadway starring Bette Midler.  The quote I learned from her this a.m. was "You want to be a thing? Then make yourself that thing." ....
Still getting into the groove of relaxation, and that's a first in the past 5 years, so it's slow going. I'll get there.
I'm thinking about what the next 5 years are going to look like, and it's a little exciting to remind myself that
"There isn't anything I can't do." ~ Little Edie Beale
What's next?  Well, I'll start with tomorrow's photo of the day!|
xxoo

Jun 1, 2013

Inspired by Will's Facebook Post

This looked like fun!  What if I use it to kick off the Season? I stole it from Will's Facebook, and I don't think he'd mind.
June Day 1: "Selfie" Lazy Saturday, no makeup, hanging out with the computer waiting for David to come home from 420. Everyone had lunch, and I'm working on laundry and a little bit of housework.  This is what that looks like...not so flattering, but we can't all be fabulous all the time! Lucas saw "Gatsby" last night, Regan is seeing it today, and Rosey is hoping to go bathing suit shopping.  The good news is, we can do what we want, when we want, and I'll decide later how the rest of the day is going to go.  It's only 1:30!

Giving It A Whirl! Summer 2013

So long since I posted, I thought I'd start with a favorite recent photo.  This is Regan and me at the Ed Sheeran Concert that we went to at Furman University in March.
We took a night off from rehearsals from Gypsy, and we're still talking about how happy we are that we did!
I'm trying to BLOG again.  Funny how I always get bitten by the bug in the Summer months, and that is probably because I'm not as pressed for time and resources during the Theatre "off Season".
Ed Sheeran is on my "turntable" lately.
We just purchased a new vehicle, Nissan Pathfinder. Thank you Honda Pilot for 9 Happy Years!
Zachary and Mackensie moved next door.
Regan is finishing 10th grade.
Lucas is finishing 9th grade.
Regan and Lucas are both 15 until July 7th.
We're planning our trip to Isle of Palms in two weeks.
Rosey is finishing 3rd grade.
The last day of school is Thursday.
I'm going "home" to NY in July.
It has been 30 years since I graduated from Roy C. Ketcham High School!
These are just a few of the high points that are going on right now.
Getting my thoughts together as I plan how to proceed with this little endeavor, so stay tuned!
xxoo